You know it’s been a while since you blogged when you go to the WordPress home page and they’ve redesigned it and you have trouble getting to the new post section. Even you, WordPress?

Things had slowed down for me considerably in the “random things I do” department for about the past month or so. Unfortunately, that gave me time to reflect on the things I do and when I have time to reflect, I usually talk myself out of an activity or two. Don’t think I don’t realize that I “promise” to keep you updated on here with my cooking, or running, or 2012 New Year’s resolutions, or photography or or or or…and I don’t follow through because I’ve dropped that particular “thing.” I mean, is adult-onset ADD real?

Luckily or unluckily though things started to pick up again just when I was about to put something down.
I started managing a friend’s Facebook page for her business, in addition to my own got your nose site. I got a call from the Community Press to cover a news story and I was told I had to teach another Spin class in order to stay with LA Fitness. I also created business cards, and an ad for my photography I hope to hand out at Julia’s preschool to start (she brings home flyers for everything else, why not my stuff too?). I even wrote a couple more paragraphs of my book (at this rate, I’ll be done when I’m 80).

Even though things are getting busy and seemingly going in the “right” direction, I still find myself feeling kind of blah. Maybe it’s the weather.  Maybe it’s spending all day at work and then spending all night doing other work. Even though the news writing on one hand seems cool, on the other it’s like, why am I running all over town on a Monday night to attend a school board meeting? But I don’t want to turn it down because I need fresh clips of my work in case anything new comes along.

And that’s just it–IN CASE. I do everything in case. What if this happens or this happens and I need this on my resume? What if my photography takes off? What if managing Facebook pages becomes a “thing”? If I don’t take the second Spinning class, then I guess I won’t have a Spinning job at all. What if I want to just teach classes and do photography and write for the paper and just have a jack-of-all-trades kind of career?

I’ve been living my whole adult life this way–always on to the next thing. But suddenly I’m thinking, “Hey, dummy. Nothing’s panned out, what is your end goal?” Maybe I haven’t given everything enough time. But what’s enough time? Maybe I don’t have enough money to buy all the fancy camera equipment and to create a studio to really make it take off. I don’t know. Maybe I don’t have the marketing skills to manage Facebook pages and I’d never make enough money teaching Spin classes. Doing all these other things leaves me no time to write my book. Maybe I should give up sleep?

What if I just stopped everything? That thought is almost more scary. Just work, come home, sit on the couch. I can’t really imagine that world. I can’t really wonder why Julia asks every day, “What are we doing tonight? Who is coming over? Where are we going?” Because she can’t imagine a world where we sit still either.

So I guess I just keep on keepin’ on and hope something sticks? Sounds good on paper but I’m really ready for something to “stick” already! Maybe I’m mid-life-crisesing (my blog, my words)?

I guess this post is about nothing really. But if you’d like to pass along one of my business cards or ad or direct people to “like” “got your nose” on Facebook to maybe give my photography a nudge in the right direction, I wouldn’t hate you. Just sayin’.

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