Fact: Birds and squirrels do not like quinoa. Also true: If you leave said quinoa in bird feeder and birds and squirrels ignore it long enough and it rains for a couple of weeks straight, it will sprout. And look like this:

What I found when I checked on the bird feeder.

So Gabe decided he wanted to plant the sprouts. He said he learned all about planting sprouts in kindergarten. When, I’m not sure. He had me convinced one day that they had a garden on the roof of the school and that they got to go up and work it in September. Then he told me that they grew hot dogs and cheese.

So I dug out the sprouts and quinoa that had pretty much solidified with a plastic knife. I emptied it on the ground outside and Gabe dug a few holes and tried to plant everything. Then Cole ate the rest off the ground because he’ll pretty much eat anything that’s not nailed down these days.

Later that night we went to the Kings high school homecoming game. I thought it would be a fun, family suburban thing we could do together but the kids pretty much complained and said they were tired the whole time so we went home at half time. We went upstairs to find dog barf in the upstairs hallway. Contents? Grass and quinoa.

Fact: Birds, squirrels, and dogs do not like quinoa.

How do I get you out of there without breaking the bird feeder?