I don’t know who Susan was, but I do know that she was one lazy MF. I mean, is it THAT HARD to pull some pots and pans out to get to the ones you want? Do you REALLY need to spin them all around in hopes of finding just the thing you need to cook with?

I admit, when we moved into our current house it was with some dismay. The kitchen contained two Lazy Susans. I loathe them. They don’t make my life easier. If anything, it’s to the contrary. I have to spin 700 pounds of Calphalon around to find the pan I really want, and only then do I get what I want after dislodging said pans’ handles or lids or lid handles 17 times per “easy” find spin around the Lazy Susan.

What’s wrong with one big space to house all of your pots and pans or Tupperware or bakeware or whatever? It’s simple, just put the ones you don’t use that often in the back. Those “closet decorations” or fondue pots or lobster steamers or things that, let’s be honest, as fancy as you think you are, you just aren’t going to use that often.

According to the dictionary, a Lazy Susan is: a revolving tray, often divided into sections, for holding condiments, etc.

FOR HOLDING CONDIMENTS. At a restaurant. At a table where you’re so packed in or so ill-mannered, or so full of Lazy Susan-ess that you can’t possibly pass the ketchup more than one person over. Where you are so hungry for horseradish you couldn’t possibly risk the chance that someone might actually use it all up before it was passed to you.

It’s not for holding pots and pans or Tupperware or mixing bowls or spices or denture creams. It’s for condiments at a restaurant.

I can’t wait to get rid of them when we redo our kitchen. In the next 50 years or so.

That is all. Carry on.